Be Still

Be still and know that I am God. Be still.  BE STILL. It is like a loud whistle shrieking at my restless heart.  My spirit does not agree. It yearns to take control. It yearns to GO, to DOMINATE. It screams at me to do more.  "If I had only said this. If I could only stand up now. If I could only change them."

Be Still.

Is it really out of my hands, or is there more I could do?  Could I change this if I tried just a little harder?  If only I had more strength.  If only I knew how to handle this better. If only I was smarter.

And once again, be still. 

Softly and quietly, it is whispered to me over and over again.  "In my time my child, in my time."  He begs me to hand it all to Him.  He asks for me to put it in His hands.  He desires my heart like no one has ever desired it before.  He says it to me again and again. "Be still my child.  Give it to me. Whatever it is, lay it at my feet. All your hurt, your pain, your guilt....hand it to me. I will take care of it and give you the desires of your heart."

Why is it so hard to hand it to someone?  Why is it so hard to give it to someone who WANTS it?  He WANTS to make it better for us, because He doesn't want to see His child in harm.

I am His cherished one.  Why can't I see it?  Why is my pride and stubbornness too thick to let Him in? I long to give it to Him, but I also long for control.

Lord, teach me to let go. Teach me to BE STILL. To wait on you and your ever perfect timing.  You are good oh God.  My faith in you can not be in vain for you are love and your mercy is everlasting.  Calm my heart, comfort my heart oh God and still my restless spirit.